Blackmailing Malfoy
by FTJ Stupid Storytellers
Summary: This is a serious story compared to some of the ones we've written. If you like stupid stuff and big butts you should check this story out. Ahem Read and Review (or else, I'm watching you --).


**Disclaimer** – We don't Harry Potter no way no how. Anyway it's kinda weird to OWN someone. Don't you agree?  
  
**Authors Notes** – This was the first story we ever wrote and it's quite sentimental. So we would prefer if you don't have flames. However if you feel the need we still have favorite flames! Dun, dun, dah!

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**Blackmailing Malfoy  
**  
The story starts with Harry Potter looking around a forbidden area in the Ministry of Magic, for some prophecy or something like that (it might have been a plate of pancakes and the world will never know).  
  
Suddenly Harry sees Linus Malfoy. "It's Lucious not Linus!" Malfoy screamed, "You dumb narrator get it right!"  
  
So anyways says the narrator speaking over Linus Malfoy ("LUCIOUS!"). Malfoy was looking for the same stupid lost prophecy/and or plate of pancakes.  
  
Suddenly Harry cried "I got it," and does a little happy dance. Harry crying I got it is really quite stupid cause then Linus ("IT'S LUCIOUS YOU FREAK!") Malfoy says the narrator ignoring him as usual comes sprinting over to Harry.  
  
"You know what I like?" said Malfoy "obedient little boys with lightning shaped scars on their heads."  
  
"Wow, what a coincidence," Harry said in awe "I'm an obedient little boy with a lightning shaped scar on my head."  
  
"I also like victory at 4:27 in the afternoon," said Malfoy smirking.  
  
"4:27 and 50 seconds said Harry looking at his watch, 51, 52, 53, 54, 55, 56, 57, 58, 59, beep, beep, beep sorry times up, you are the weakest link goodbye," said Harry using an announcers voice.  
  
Linus Malfoy-  
  
"MY NAME IS LINUS er no that's not right, uh oh yeah LUCIOUS MALFOY DO I LOOK LIKE A STUPID LITTLE BOY WHO CARRIES A BLANKET AROUND!"  
  
"Let's see then," said Harry still using the announcer's voice "Accio blanket." A pink blanket with little kitties on it flew out of Lucious' robes.  
  
"BLANKIE WANKIE POO," cried Malfoy, "Come back!"  
  
Huge tangent says the narrator; let's get back on track people.  
  
"Oh yeah," says Malfoy sucking on his thumb and holding Blankie Wankie Poo "I forget to tell you what I like the MOST."  
  
"And what is that," said Harry impatiently.  
  
"I LIKE BIG BUTTS AND I CANNOT LIE YOU OTHER BROTHERS CAN"T DENY, WHEN A GIRL COMES IN WITH AN ITTY BITTY WAIST AND A BIG ROUND THING IN MY FACE I GET...," sang Malfoy at the top of his lungs.  
  
"This is the perfect blackmail," sniggered Harry. "Good thing I have my camera."  
  
Harry Potter died laughing (which kinda ruined it for fans everywhere no 6th or 7th book can you believe it!).  
  
And Lucious ("LINUS! Oh wait you said it right never mind.") Malfoy had to live with a bag on his head for the rest of his life.  
  
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**Authors Notes** – this was so much fun to write. We had to change it a bit after it was posted but that's OK! Now let's move on to shout outs.  
  
**Shout Outs** - ok because you really can't have favorite flames without shout outs cause it makes you reviewers look REALLY BAD here are the shout outs!  
  
1. **Paulina **- GREAT STORY! I am absolutely amazed! I laughed my booty off, while shaking my booty to the big butt song! ahahhahah! That's right!  
  
Oh...my...gosh! this is like my last review until you make another story! I must do something amazingly breathtaking to remember The Amazing Reviewer by until the next story! Mwahahahaha! I...must...sing!! piano entrance  
  
"First I was afraid...I was petrified...kept thinkin I could never live without you by my side...but then I spent so many nights thinkin how you did me wrong, and I grew strong and I learned how to get along...Oh I, I WILL SURVIVE OH AS LONG AS I KNOW HOW TO LOVE I KNOW I'LL STAY ALIVE I got all my life to live, I got all my love to give and I'll survive I WILL SURVIVE HEY HEY!" Whoah! prances around happily Now that was refreshing! ahahahahah! That is my theme song baby! I WILL survive! I will survive for not reviewing for a while until you guys get another story! So "so long farewell to you my friends goodbye for now until we meet again" Out of the Box Asian girl and guy with the dreadlocks shouts "Hey that's our song!" ahahahah! See yah! great stories cant wait till another one, and another one of my GREAT REVIEWS! (I think I need to start charging reviews! AHAHAHAHAH!) bye bye! ;-)  
  
FTJ – apart from being Tesi's cousin and damn hilarious Paulina has reviewed EVERY story and that FTJ has written. That should be congratulated! Kudos to you Paulina kudos to you!  
  
2**. Siggy** - yo Tesi, Janie, Frankie... or better known as Francesca. I'm just kidding you. That was pretty good for being as stupid story. Luv ya, April.  
  
FTJ – apart from insulting Frankie which is a very dangerous thing to do, Siggy aka April gave us the idea for HP's teddy bear AND she recognizes a hilarious stupid story when she sees one! I know several reviewers who should learn from her example.  
  
3. **Striped Panther22** - hi again I just want to tell me that I am  
the PERFECT WRITER. No self esteem problems here : )  
**Striped Panther22** - I LUV THIS STORY! AND I LUV MY WRITING! GO ME I  
ROX!  
(for any of you peeps who stick their abnormally big nose into other  
peeps beeswax, i wrote this story. I'm F. F as in FRANKIE!)  
  
T & J – yes that was Frankie and in case you haven't noticed she's VERY conceited.  
  
4. **Deathdreamer17** - HEY THIS IS A GOOD ...STORY. TRUST ME I NO WAT IT SLIKE TO HAVE ABSOLUTELS NOTHING TO DO DURING SPANISH...I ALREDY SPEAK IT BUT I HAVE TO TAKE THE CLASS TO GET THE DAMN CREDIT! AS FOR MATH ... WELL I HAVE ALGEBRA AND IT'S HARD SO I CANT SLACK OFF IN THERE. ANYWAYS... ME AND ONE OF MY FRIENDS ARE MAKING A STORY OF OUR OWN DURING SPANISH...BUT SHE JUST HAS TO GET US ONTO THIS DAMN SITE! HURRY UP WIT MORE OF THESE...THINGS!  
OH YEAH...ONE MORE THING! LOOK FOR US! WE WILL BE KNOWN AS THE MURDERETTES! HEHEHEHEHEHEHE! IM NOT SURE WAT WE'RE GONNA CALL THE STORY THOUGH... BUT WE'RE IN IT! TRUST ME ITS FUNNY. I JUST DONT NO WHEN ITS GONNA COME UP ON THE SITE. WOW I HAVE NO LIFE. THERES ABSOLUTELY NOTHING TO DO EXEPT TO WRITE TO SOME STRANGER WHO HAS ONE THING IN COMMON WITH ME...NOTHING TO DO IN SPANISH CLASS...PUES YA ME TENGO QUE IR...POR FAVOR ESCRIBE MAS ESTORIAS CUANDO NO TIENES NADA QUE HACER EN LA CLASE DE ESPANOL! (I HOPE YOU UNDERSTOOD THAT..IF NOT, LOOK IT UP!. LUV YAS! BYE!  
  
FTJ – Besides having a couple grammar errors one of J's pet peeves. Deathdreamer17 is pretty cool hey look she also had the ingenious idea of writing stories in Spanish class, that out to be congratulated.  
  
Well that sums up the shout outs! If you want a shout out all you have to do is review every story or be damn hilarious!  
  
Bye then


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